#datetime 28/7/04 19:11

So the infrastructure has gotten much closer to being done, without being any closer to being done. What I mean is that I built a Palm conduit in Python, using Palm's COM API, so I can take advantage of all the nice, high-level Python libraries for things like threading, and network access, and security, instead of having to locate and figure out how to use other people's, or worse, code them up myself!

There are still a few problems with the framework, I can't seem to call anything with a Variant Out parameter, and I haven't tested writing records, but other than that, it's golden, and I expect those bugs will be fixed as soon as people start playing with it. And none of the actual sync code is written, either, but that will be trivial, right? Right. Still, if you're reading this, then I must have gotten something working...

Update: It is working! It doesn't synchronize in any way, it just uploads the entries and hopes for the best, but I'll fix that later. You can grab a copy of the conduit code here, and the Plua source for the app itself here.

Coming soon: marking the memos which have been uploaded, so that we don't upload them again. (I've got the code to ignore them working just fine, but I haven't delved into the black art of writing a record back to the Palm yet.)

#datetime 4/5/03 15:38 Someday, this entry will be coming to you from my Clié. I have a dream, you see. A dream that I can update my weblog whenever I get a chance, instead of only when I'm at my computer. A dream that, just by putting memos in a specific category on my Clié, I can add new entries and update older entries with new information whenever I feel like it.

Delphine is almost fifteen months old. The last couple of weeks have been very interesting. She has demonstrated, numerous times, that she is perfectly capable of walking, and would rather not, thank you. I think she doesn't like the instability of it. Eventually her balance will get better and the convenience of walking with outweigh the security of crawling, but for now it's hands on the floor for her.

Last week she laughed at her first verbal humour: "Socks! Ka-pocks! Shoes! Ka-poes! Pants! Ka-pants!" This is very funny stuff indeed, you have no idea.

She is babbling a lot, and is a pretty competent mimic. She likes "bababa" and "dadada" best (typical!) but has attempted, with varying degrees of success, such diverse words as "cheesestick", "step" and "Zaida".

She doesn't seem to eat much, but she's still nursing a lot. I would like her to nurse less so I can ovulate already, but I'm not sure how to go about it. She's pretty insistent about it when she wants to nurse, and it's the easiest way to get her to sleep, especially during the day when Blake isn't around with his magic shoulder.

She's still sleeping with us, but I would like to move her to the crib. I have thought and thought about it and I think the only way to do it will involve some crying. We've made a couple of attempts to sneak her into the crib after she's asleep, but she always either wakes up when we're putting her down, or wakes up later and cries. I'm planning to do a Ferber type thing, going in to visit her at regular intervals until she falls asleep. I read the Pantley book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution and I don't think her idea of repeatedly picking her up and soothing her, then putting her down in the crib, will work because she cries instantly when we put her down, and we end up spending the whole night holding her. But we're establishing a bedtime routine, and I'm going to see if she finds a transitional object; I do want to make this easy on her, and us. We're starting this weekend. Unless we chicken out, like we have the last two weekends.

I can see her becoming a toddler; she is getting to be much more assertive about her world. She cries when you take something away from her that she wanted, or when you tell her not to do something appealing like put her hand in the toilet or pick up cigarette butts. She will put up a good tug-of-war with other babies if they both want the same toy, although Delphine generally gives up first and cries, thereby winning because the parents inevitably step in and give her the toy, because the other kid looks like the big meany. She is so smart!

She's becoming more fascinated with cats and dogs. She can find the cat in any picture (if there is one, obviously) and she can point to where the real-life cats are, too. She always looks when we see dogs when we're out. I think in September I will take her to the zoo and see what she makes of all the other animals.

I can't think of anything else, except that she's so lovely and interesting and good. This morning we went to the bulk food store, and I parked her in the stroller just inside the door while I collected my groceries, and she just sat there and looked around and didn't make a peep. What a baby.

It seems like every time I turn around I am reminded of how incompetent I am. The kitchen full of dirty dishes reminds me I am an incompetent housewife. The broken dishwasher reminds me I am an incompetent earner. The baby who won't sleep in her own crib reminds me I am an incompetent mother. The neglected emails remind me I am an incompetent friend.

Everything seems so hard, so uphill, like wading through molasses. The hardest thing in the world really is living in it. I keep waiting for it to become easier, to become like other people's lives seem to be, so effortless and effective, and it never does. A nice condo doesn't do it, losing weight doesn't do it, even having money, if I recall correctly, didn't do it. I think life is just difficult. But I also remind myself that it will be easier in a couple of years, when Delphine has some physical autonomy and doesn't need my attention all the time. After that, by comparison, everything really will be easy! I hope.

In the meantime, if anyone out there is granting wishes, I would like to find a nice daycare that will take good care of my baby two days a week. I would like a job which pays me enough to pay for the daycare, with some left over. I would like a dishwasher that works. I would like someone to vacuum and clean my bathrooms. I would like Delphine to sleep in her own crib, fall asleep at eight every night and wake up at seven the next morning. I would like some clothes that fit and a couple of pairs of cute shoes.

I think that's all. Thanks!

It's far too early on Saturday morning. Delphine woke up around 5:30 all fidgety and cry-y. I nursed her back to sleep but then I had to get up to pee, and by the time I was done my brain had woken up too much to attempt going back to sleep.

All for the best, really, as I have a bunch of things to do this morning. Sascha and Leontine are coming up this morning on the fast ferry from Rochester, and before they get here I'd like to have the guest bedroom all set up, so they feel welcome. I hate to go to someone's place and have them all rushing around to make up a bed for me, it makes me feel like I'm imposing.

We also need to clean up the guest bathroom. Yesterday the bathtub faucet started leaking, only it was more a stream than a drip, so Blake got all manly and pulled it all apart and fixed it with parts scavenged from a faucet cartridge found in the security desk downstairs. By the time he'd got it fixed it was late and time for dinner, so he didn't finish putting the faucet back together yet; it's all spread around the bathroom.

Finally, I have to put together a care package for Delphine because she's going away! Okay, only from nine this morning until around three this afternoon, to go visit some friends of my in-laws' while Blake and I and Sascha and Leontine go for dim sum and Spider-man 2. But that's almost all day! I have to pack diapers, and wipes, and a spare outfit, and a sweater, and sun block and a hat, and some food and a sippy cup, and maybe twenty bucks in case she needs to get a cab home.

I also worry that when Sascha and Leontine see that Delphine isn't with us they'll get right back on the ferry and go home.

...how hard can it be to update once in a while? I don't know why I don't just do little updates often instead of trying to write huge big updates less frequently. I guess because what I want to write about doesn't want to come out in small chunks.

Here's a piecemeal breakdown of what's going on, to get caught up:

Delphine

Delphine is fourteen months old. In addition to two incisors on the top and four on the bottom, she has one molar, on the bottom, which has come in entirely out of sequence. It's rather charming, and allows her to chow down on all manner of things. She eats everything except peanuts, but she especially likes strawberries and tomatoes. Yesterday she learned how straws work, which will make sharing drinks with her easier, when we're out.

She took her first unsupported step today. She's been pushing her little pushy thing around for months now, but is still reluctant to walk without it. By the time she takes the plunge she will be pretty secure on her feet, though.

She loves to climb stairs, and when we go to the park she will often forgo the boring old slide in favour of just climbing up and down the stairs.

She babbles in her own little language. She makes declarative statements of varying length, often waving her hands or thumping the table for emphasis. I frequently feel like I am the idiot for not understanding her.

I'm trying to wean her a little more. We went a couple of days last week without nursing during the day, just at night. She doesn't really mind as long as I keep her distracted by other things. I'm also trying to teach her to go to sleep without nursing, with an eye to eventually being able to put her down (!) in a crib (!!) and have her sleep through a full nap or overnight. One day that will happen, right? Ergh.

Work

I've been looking at daycares with a mind to going to work part time, two or three days a week. So far I've seen the city-run daycare in the local school (institutional) and a private daycare (slick, expensive). I suspect we will end up going with the city daycare because they will let me and a friend buy a full-time spot and split it. But we'll look at some more options first.

I will probably work for my father-in-law at least for a while. If that doesn't pan out I have four other options I would like to explore:

1. Construction: I am interested in working in construction, so I'd look for an entry-level position in the field.
2. Temp Work: easy but I don't know how well it would work in terms of reliable part-time hours.
3. Work with the city: I love Toronto and I'd love to be a part of the running of it, so I'd look for something at City Hall. Yes! I want to be a bureaucrat.
4. Back at ANGOSS: I bet they would give me part time work if I wanted it.

It's comforting to have so many avenues to investigate.

Food

I'm doing a little better cracking 2K calories. In fact, Fitday says my two-week average is 1920. Not really where I want it to be, but not terrible. I'm thinking starting next week I'll cut my upper limit down to 1800 calories and really start working on that. (Right now I'm just eating whatever and entering it into Fitday, but not using Fitday to decide what I should eat.)

I weighed myself at my friend's house the other day and it claimed I was 197 lbs, which is 7 more than I used to be. I'm going to go with her scale is busted. Ironically, I had been feeling really slim and I only weighed myself because I thought it would come up low and I could feel all smug. Hah!

Life

Life is pretty good. We're a little short of money, in that we seem to eat away at our ING savings account every month -- we're running a deficit. If we only spent the money that we budget for each month we'd be alright, but we don't budget for broken vacuum cleaners and trips to Las Vegas. The dishwasher is also broken, and I don't know if we're going to replace it or what (everyone thinks it's pretty much beyond repair, and also it's ten years old). I also should visit my parents some time.

Other than the money thing I'm happy. We have some friends who just moved a few blocks away, and they have a little girl Delphine's ago, so I've been hanging out with them a lot which is good. I'm happier and happier with Delphine; she's so much more interesting as an almost-toddler than she was as a baby, so much so that I'm kind of dreading having another baby -- it takes a year before they get to this fun stage! Good thing they're so cute.

I'm excited about going back to work, and I've just decided this minute that when I'm working I will pay someone else to clean the house. There's no way I'm going to be away from Delphine for twenty hours a week and waste time vacuuming on top of that. I'd rather buy time with my baby than new clothes. Well. I'd really like to buy both, if I can manage it.

I think that's pretty much the big update. See you in another two months!

I've been keeping a small tupperware full of miso paste in the fridge at the office for the past few months. It seemed like something that I could use to supplement my lunches, or as a nice alternative to coffee when I was in need of a hot liquid. In related news, I'm feeling a little under the weather today due to being in the middle of a cold I got from my wife, or perhaps daughter, and since all I have for lunch is a baloney sandwich, and some salad, I thought that it would be the perfect thing to clear my sinuses, and give me a little boost of wellness. Hah.

I'll be the first person to grant that miso paste looks a little like something that's gone off, and it's nice that people are clearing out the fridge, but man is that ever bad timing. Worse, since payday isn't until today, and there wasn't enough in the bank account for me to take out any spending money, so I can't even buy an overpriced chicken noodle soup from the food court. So I ended up having a cup of coffee, but it just wasn't the same somehow. At least I got in early, so I'll be able to go home in a couple of hours, and have some soup there.

Hah! And just as I finished writing my tale of woe, it started raining. Man, what a day!

Delphine's first birthday was two Mondays ago, on the tenth. We had a special dinner with cake and jelly, and I already put up pictures in the gallery so I bet you already know about it. It was a good birthday, I think, as first ones go.

This Monday was her one-year checkup, to be examined and jabbed with a million tiny needles. Well, three, but it seemed like more. She got the usual MMR plus Varivax for chicken pox and Menjugate for meningitis. The two latter shots were not covered by OHIP so we had to pay for them to the tune of over $200, which was a bit of a shock. Hopefully Blake's insurance will cover them. Ironically yesterday afternoon the government announced that they will cover those two vaccines in the future.

She was weighed and measured, and found wanting (God, that was a bad movie!) -- 22 lbs and 30" which are a little lower than perhaps they should be according to her growth curve. The doctor wasn't sure if that's just her normal curve or if indeed she isn't growing as she should be, but she encouraged me to feed her more. I hadn't been giving her snacks -- coming up with three nutritious, interesting meals a day is hard enough -- but I'm starting now. I picked up a bunch of meal plans from various daycares at a daycare and pre-school expo a couple of weeks ago; they're meant to assure you that your kid is being fed properly while they're in care, but I'm not above stealing their ideas.

When I got home from the doctor feeling somewhat chagrined that I am not feeding my baby properly, I found in a mailbox a big blue envelope addressed in my brother's beloved chicken-scratchings. He sent a card and a gift card for Indigo for Delphine. I opened the card and bawled my face off for a few minutes; it was one of those times when you've been needing to cry for a day or two and then something innocent sets you off. I just pictured my little Dave in front of a rack of cards picking one out for Delphine and he's SO SWEET! I'm a mess.

I love that Dave sent her a bookstore gift certificate. For one thing I've been wanting to get her some more books but just haven't had the ready cash to do so, but also Dave and I always, always, always get a book for birthdays. Always have, always will. It's good to continue that tradition, especially since Blake and I totally dropped the ball. (We only budgeted $30 for Del's birthday, which clearly isn't going to be enough, since kids books are around $15 which leaves a measly $15 for a present. Argh. Hopefully we'll have more income next year and we can loosen up the budget a little.)

What's the little monster up to, you ask? Well, she's amazing. I feel like I've fallen in love with her all over again in the last few days, like I have a big old crush on her. I suspect this crushing will come and go over the next... oh, hell, for the rest of my life, probably.

She's almost walking; she can stand unassisted for a few seconds, and she walks with her little pushy wagon thing my parents sent her for Christmas. I don't think she's really keen to walk because she can get where she wants to go crawling. She does love to climb, though; she climbs onto chairs and toys and the aforementioned pushy thing. She climbs the stairs to the slide at the park, and then slides down feet-first, tummy down. Then she climbs up the slide, which is varyingly effective depending how much clothing she's wearing.

The climbing is alarming because it makes me realize how much trouble she could get into, between falling and getting into stuff she's not supposed to get into. Toddler-proofing is going to be way harder than baby-proofing.

She's not showing any signs of talking, although she's got a good repertoire of phonemes. She doesn't understand any words, apart from her name and "No". This is perhaps a little delayed, but still within normal parameters. I feel like I am expected to worry about that, but I'm not worried. I'm glad she's not a tiny prodigy; I don't want her to be special, I just want her to be happy. Dave and I were special when we were kids, and I don't think it bought us much happiness.

And all in all she is happy and well and lovely. People still comment on how well-behaved she is, and how pretty, and I tend to agree.

I forgot one more Delphine milestone; this weekend, she put something in something else! Until now she has been the Queen of Chaos, the Renter of Things Asunder, the knocker down of neat piles and puller-outer of things from other things. So this is exciting and new and heralds days of putting things away and tidying up.

Just in time for her eleven-month birthday, there is finally something new to report in the land of Delphine.

First, she is growing at least one, and perhaps two new teeth on top. It has been five months since the two on the bottom came in, so these are long-awaited. They don't seem to be giving her much trouble at the moment. They will come in handy in her new practice of taking bites out of a piece of fruit; last week I shared a plum with her.

Second, yesterday she stood by herself, once when playing with Blake and once with Morgan. She can walk quite nicely if you hold both her hands, so sometime soon she'll put it all together and ta-da! I'll have a toddler. I think my prior estimate of walking before she's a year old was optimistic; I didn't anticipate that her development would plateau for a month or two as it has. Darn these non-deterministic babies.

And finally, I gave her egg over the weekend (in chopped liver and fruit kugel; Passover is a very egg-intensive holiday) and she hasn't yet imploded, exploded, broken out in hives or turned into a turnip, so I think I can assume she's not allergic to eggs. This is good, because it means she can have birthday cake next month. And generally it means that lots of food that was verboten is now in her repertoire, so it will make feeding her much easier.