I am feeling overwhelmed these days, recently by the holidays but
even before that by the structure and stricture imposed by having
to get the girls to their various schools. For some reason I
thought having the girls at school would mean more free time
for me, but as it turns out, not so much. All this to say that
unfortunately blogging has dropped down to the bottom of my
priority list, somewhere below cleaning the toilet and flossing,
although above sweeping the basement floor and writing letters
to politicians. This is mainly unfortunate not because I am
depriving you, my public, of my wisdom, but because the girls
are so damn charming these days and it's a pity I'm not writing
it down because I'm sure they will go through less charming
periods and it would be nice to have this stuff to reminisce
about.
One of my problems is that there is so much to write about:
what Cordelia's like, what Delphine is like, what my life
is like, Delphine's identity issues (why must a four-and-a-half
year old have identity issues!), the weather, the neighbours'
tacky plastic light-up nativity lawn ornaments. I have to choose
something.
So here's what our days are like. Sometime in the morning
Cordelia wakes up, usually between six and six-thirty. By
this time Delphine is mysteriously already in bed with us.
She used to get in bed on Blake's side — he would snuggle
with her and then take her back to bed. Then he started
complaining about that because he finds it really hard to
get back to sleep after an interruption, whereas I can usually
drop right back off again. Fine, I said, Delphine should
come and see me when she wakes up in the night. Which is
apparently every night. So we got her to do that. The
only problem is, I sleep so soundly that I don't even wake
up and she ends up sleeping with us all night, which wouldn't
bother me but apparently we crowd Blake. Not sure
what the resolution to this problem is, but I hope when
Delphine gets her new bed and comforter she will stay in
her own bed. Maybe we'll make a rule or something.
So anyway, Cordelia wakes up, sometimes crying and sometimes
singing. She's still sleeping in a crib, so I get up and
get her and she comes back to the big bed for a "snuggle",
meaning she nurses for a bit, yes she's still nursing, we're
going to stop any time now! Really! Usually Delphine and
Cordelia get into a bit of a spat because Cordelia's hitting
Delphine (she likes to thump something while she's nursing,
or kick something) or because Delphine said "Hi Cordelia" and
Cordelia didn't say hi back, or something. Delphine's often
a bit testy in the morning. Sometimes she's really gorgeous
and cheery and patient with Cordelia; I never know which
Delphine I'm going to get.
Anyway, after all the foolishness with the snuggling and
fighting is over, Delphine and Cordelia take their leave and
Blake and I grab a few more minutes of blissful rest. The
girls used to go off and play but I found it hard to get them
to focus on getting dressed and coming for breakfast after
they had gotten into a game, so a few weeks ago I imposed a
rule that states that you have to be dressed before you can
play, and if you play before you are dressed I will confiscate
whatever you are playing with for the rest of the day. I am
so mean. It works, though, they get dressed now. Delphine
dresses herself and then she helps Cordelia get dressed.
Sometimes Cordelia looks pretty wild; the other day she was
dressed in a blue, pink and green horizontal-striped shirt,
a shades-of-pink diagonal striped summer dress over top, and
her black and yellow striped bee tights from Hallowe'en. I
guess to a 4.5 year old, three kinds of stripes qualifies as
matching. Cordelia doesn't care what she wears yet, except
some days when she mysteriously insists on one particular
garment.
Once the girls are dressed they and I stumble downstairs
and I throw together some breakfast, usually toast or cereal.
I always feel that there should be some other food groups,
maybe fruit, but I can't face fruit first thing in the morning —
too tangy — so I always forget to offer it to the girls. I
should perhaps try a little harder.
If it's a Tuesday or Thursday then Cordelia has nursery
school, so there is usually a moderate rush to get out the
door. Nursery school is a fifteen minute walk away; fifteen
minutes there plus fifteen minutes back, twice, makes an
extra hour of walking, twice a week, which is great for my
waistline but kind of messes up my schedule, especially around
lunchtime, but I will get to that.
If Cordelia has school, we drop her off by nine and then Delphine
have the morning to ourselves. It would be nice if we spent
that time with quality bonding activities like reading or playing
at the park or, I don't know, tennis or something, but in
reality usually I have a million errands to run on the way
home, then we get home and I have a bunch of chores to do before
we turn around and go pick up Cordelia at 11:30.
If Cordelia doesn't have school we typically just putter around
the house; the girls do colouring or sticking, or they build things
with blocks, or they make train tracks, or they do imaginary
things with dollies. They also like to disassemble the sofa and
use its cushions to make forts or big piles, especially in combination
with the plexiglass nesting side tables I bought at Caban years
ago. I didn't imagine at the time that
they would one day become houses and tunnels and beds.
While the girls are playing I'm usually doing jobs; neverending
laundry, sweeping, cleaning the kitchen, more laundry. Sometimes
I clean the bathroom. I'm sure there are lots of other housework
activities I should be doing, but somehow I never get to them
between walking people places, doing laundry and cooking.
If it is Tuesday or Thursday at 11:30 and
we have just picked Cordelia from school, we have to hurry home
to have lunch in time to turn around and go back out the door to
take Delphine to school by 12:45. Now that it's winter and we
have to do the snow pants/jacket/boots/hat/mitts/scarf thing
our turnaround time is fairly long and there's not a lot of time
for making and eating lunch. Lunchtime on Tuesdays and Thursdays
is not pretty at my house, and it often involves peanut butter
sandwiches. It's a complete protein!
After Delphine is safely deposited at school, it's time for
Cordelia's nap. She's usually tucked in by 1:20 and then I
have almost an hour and a half of unaccompanied time yawning
ahead of me. This would be more exciting if there weren't
the fairly predictable round of laundry and sweeping and
tidying to do, but sometimes I catch a short nap, or read
a bit, or even play on the internet for a while. (It has taken
me four sessions to write this entry, and I am only finishing
it today because the girls are at Baba and Zaida's for supper.)
I almost always have to wake Cordelia up at 2:45 to give
her time to get her wits about her and have something to eat
before we leave to pick up Delphine at 3:15. Delphine plays
in the schoolyard with her friends for a while and we're
back home by 4:00, whereupon I make dinner which we eat at
5:00 (no, it doesn't take me an hour to make dinner but I
have to give myself an hour to deal with interruptions and
crises on the way). Bathtime happens around 5:45, followed
by bedtime (pajamas, teeth, books and tucks)
and if we're lucky everyone is snug by
7:00. 7:30 at the latest. Blake usually gets home sometime
in the middle of bedtime, which the girls think is great
because he always has time to snuggle with them in the
big bed, or read an extra book.
That's when the real fun begins, or so the girls suspect. In
reality the evening involves clearing up after supper,
cleaning the kitchen, more laundry, any other chores that
absolutely can't be completed with children present (like
wrapping Christmas gifts!), and
then finally we can collapse in front of the TV for a few
minutes (maybe hours) until I have to
get to bed, which is before ten or else I am too crabby the next day.
Here's what we watch on TV these days: Dirty Jobs,
Chuck,
America's Funniest Home Videos, Battlestar
Galactica, The Tudors, Kid Nation
(until it ended), and sometimes Design Inc..
The Daily Show when it's not on strike. We
love TV but I think we're going to cancel cable; it's just
too expensive for the few shows we watch, and for all the
millions of channels there is almost nothing to watch
on an spontaneous basis; if we don't have anything saved
on the PVR we're pretty much screwed. So we're going to
switch to downloading or (more likely) reading books.
Life is pretty full and busy and there's not much time to
breathe, and that's with me home all the time. I don't know
how people with jobs do it (apart from if I had a job
I would damn well pay someone to do all the housework).
My days are pretty much preordained starting at around
11:30 am until 7:00 pm, and this is the first time that
being a Mum has really felt like a job in the usual sense.
Previously I've had all kinds of things to do and lots of
demands on my attention, but I've been able to more-or-less
define when I did stuff and what I did (apart from the obviously
non-negotiable diaper changes and naps and stuff), but now
I need to be up and out and getting things done whether
I feel like it or not.
Not that
I am complaining; the structure certainly doesn't hurt and it
certainly passes the time and keeps me honest. My chief complaint
right now is
with the weather; I hate wresting little Cordelia into
snowpants and boots because it takes forever and it's hard on my
back. I can't wait until she's old enough to
do that stuff herself, which should be next winter. (Never
mind that, there are still mothers who try and help their
kindergartners with snow pants!) In general we are all pretty
happy with our lots in life; Delphine loves school, Cordelia
loves school, they mostly love each other, Blake likes his
job and I like mine, we love each other and we're mad about
the girls. Can't ask for much more that!