We just came off a long weekend - Friday was a PA Day (which means school is closed for those of you who aren't from 'round here), and Monday was "Family Day", a merciful and much-needed mid-winter Ontario statutory holiday. The weekend was full; Friday the girls and I got together with friends. Saturday we had music class, and then Delphine, Blake and I left Cordelia with Auntie Morgan and Uncle Erik, and headed down to The Beaches for a birthday party for one of Delphine's classmates. While she was partying, we went to Dufflet and enjoyed a tasty slice of cake while an orange and white cat had a large and, I can only assume, satisfying poo in the garden outside the window.
It was great to hang out with Delphine by herself for a while. Both girls are really charming by themselves: Delphine is thoughtful and interesting, Cordelia is intense and funny. Together they are often irritating, to each other and thus to us. So to take a nice long transit ride with Delphine and get to hang out with her and see the city was a real treat. (How old do you have to be before the view from the Bloor Street Viaduct stops blowing your mind? Older than thirty-three, anyway.)
After the birthday party we came back uptown and dropped Delphine off at Baba and Zaida's, with Cordelia, for a sleepover. Then we went out to a movie! We saw Coraline, in 3D. (The movie was great but the 3D was gratuitous.)
Sunday we slept in, then went in search of breakfast. On the way home we picked up some groceries, and then relaxed for an hour or so before the girls came home. Later that day Kat came over, and the whole family joined us for Sunday dinner. After the girls were in bed, Kat and Blake and I watched every Being Erica so far. (Conclusion: good for now, but Erica is going to have to stop saying stupid things if she's going to keep our sympathies. Moving the plot along by making your protagonist repeatedly screw up is lazy writing.)
Kat slept over, and the next morning we went skating together. In addition to her already-dizzying array of talents and accomplishments, Kat is a Can-Skate instructor and figure skater, so she taught both Delphine and me some cool tricks. I now have muscle aches where I wasn't previously aware I had muscles.
Kat headed home in the afternoon (after a long and nearly fruitless search for an open grocery store), and the weekend wound down quietly.
Going out to see a movie was a nice treat, but the best part of our date was talking to Blake before the movie, and on the way home, and the next morning when we went out for breakfast. It was exactly like we were before the girls were born, a relaxed, easy repartee. We talked about all kinds of things, we laughed at each other's jokes, we worked on the cryptic and teased each other. I was literally shocked at how happy I was to be away from the children. As I alluded to above, the girls have been a little annoying lately and I guess it's been making me tenser than I realized.
No, it's worse than that. I felt more like myself when I was away from the girls. I felt like I was the real me, the me who has a tidy house and isn't mad all the time, the me who talks to her husband about something other than tomorrow's agenda and who is going to give up what in order to take somebody somewhere.
I don't want to be one of those mothers who is delighted to get away from their kids! I love my kids! They are charming and clever and fun. I'm just overwhelmed by them - five-and-a-half-years of almost non-stop childcare is a lot. Maybe next year when Delphine is in school five hours a day, and Cordelia is in school half-days I will have enough breathing space that I can properly enjoy their company. I want to like being with my kids, and I want to feel normal when I'm with them, not all stressed and crabby and resentful.
But in the meantime, thank goodness for sleepovers. No; thank Baba!