In the past, as you have been unfortunate enough to witness, I have been miserable about my life, feeling like it's not going anywhere or I'm not doing good enough or I'm not achieving anything or whatever. Recently, however, that feeling has subsided. I'm feeling mellow, like whatever needs doing will get done, and I'll be able to deal with stuff as it comes up, and I'm not a big loser. It's refreshing!
To what do I attribute this change? If only I knew. But I'm working on a theory that it has something to do with all the books I've been reading lately, really good books about normal people living their normal lives. Like The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time and Captain Corelli's Mandolin and Clare Callan and The Brothers K. I don't have a lot more to this theory, other than that maybe reading all these books has made me pull my head out of my own ass and think about other people instead of just sitting around worrying about my own "problems".
I also haven't read any parenting advice books lately, I bet that helps. There's nothing that makes you think your life is so significant than reading a book all about what's wrong with it and what you have to do to make it better.
By the way, the reason for all these books is that I finally got off my ass (actually got on my ass) and figured out how to use the Toronto Public Library inter-library loan system on the Internet. Now I barely have to do more than think "Huh, I'd like to read that book", and I get a call from a nice recorded lady telling me that the book is waiting for me at my local branch. It's amazing, except that About a Boy, Due Preparations for the Plague, The Diary of Samuel Pepys, A Fine Balance, and Quicksilver all arrived at the same time, just after I had taken out The Brothers K. That's almost 3500 pages of book. Good thing I also know how to renew over the Internet.